You Might be a Redneck Pole Vaulter

[lonestar]

If you have one guy armed with a .22 while 2 others flip each section of the pit over and run because they don't want to get sprayed by the skunk that lives underneath it.

We did this today!

[Tim McMichael]

If an accident while working cattle had you on the phone with doping control for two hours trying to find out what having been vaccinated for hoof and mouth disease would mean if you were drug tested.

[Tim McMichael]

I had to shoot a rabid skunk in the yard the other day. This is normally not a problem, but I had decided to trade in my 12 gauge pump for a side by side 10 gauge shoulder cannon. It almost deafened me; I had to take three steps backward; The trigger guard cut my knuckles; I still have a bruise on my arm, and the skunk was basically liquefied. I had to use a shovel to pick its body up. I don't think I will be shooting that thing for fun anytime soon.

On the other hand, a picture fell off the wall in the middle of the night, and all we heard in the bedroom was glass breaking. It was comforting to just be able to sit on the edge of the bed with that thing knowing I could shoot straight through the wall.

Not a redneck polevaluter post - just redneck.

[lonestar]

10 gauge? You hunting elephants Tim? Dang! I still have my Remington Model 870 12 gauge pump but opted for the .22 semi-auto since it would make less noise...not sure of the legality of discharging firearms in my neighborhood.

Unfortunately, the skunk hasn't shown himself in daylight when the gun was handy, so he's probably moved underneath my other pit now

[Bubba PV]

Lonestar - how about when Fairbanks used to hunt deer with a bow back behind your pit? That's pretty redneck? Bubba

BTW - do you really call the open space where you live a "neighborhood"? Doesn't a neighborhood require neighbors within shouting distance? You redneck!!

[Tim McMichael]

If you tried to keep the ice from breaking your tree limbs by knocking it off with a pole, and then resorted to shooting it off with a shotgun. (My shoulder has a bruise you wouldn't believe).

[Robert schmitt]

If an accident while working cattle had you on the phone with doping control for two hours trying to find out what having been vaccinated for hoof and mouth disease would mean if you were drug tested.

damn, I just spit coffee all over my computer

[Tim McMichael]

If you know your poles have been stored on their rack in the barn too long because the chickens have started roosting on them.

If you were really disappointed when you found out Bubka's name didn't rhyme with Bubba.

If you know that the best way to get gasket sealer off of your hands is with shampoo.

If your hair has looked really funny on a couple of occasions because of this fact.

If one of the most embarrassing moments of your career was when your coach was spitting dip into a beer can at the pre-meet dinner in the Hyatt Regency ballroom.

If one of the happiest moments of your career was when you found out there was a McDonalds in Budapest and a K-Mart in Prague.

[achtungpv]

If your coach ever told you that you run as fast as a dried up creek.

If your idea of a speed & plyo workout consisted of outrunning a hog across a pen and doing a double-legged hop over the barbed wire fence.

[swtvault]

Bubba,

Yep.....Kris' backyard fed me and three of my roommates for the entire fall semester. I think we shot 6 deer back there that year. That sure was alot of fun.

[Tim McMichael]

If your idea of a speed & plyo workout consisted of outrunning a hog across a pen and doing a double-legged hop over the barbed wire fence.

One of the most athletic moves I ever saw in my life was my dad doing just that in freezing rain carrying a bucket full of baby pigs that we were trying to save from dying in the cold. On the farm, things can get very basic in a big hurry. We bottle fed ten little piggies under a heat lamp in the kitchen for weeks. Pigs are only pink and cute and go "oink" when they are tiny. When they weigh almost a quarter ton and are chasing you through freezing mud they kind of growl and bark and show off the fact that they have tusks the size of kitchen knives. I thought, and still think, that my Pop was made of steel and rock and weathered oak. Maybe one of the reasons there are a lot of redneck pole vaulters is that we grow up in places that have enough room to run with sticks and we have examples of courage and strength under pressure that come from men like my father.

[73-vaulter]

You have truly shown your self in this last post. Those were very nice things to have said about your father. He should be proud of the man you have become.