You Might be a Redneck Pole Vaulter

[mjaubbs40]

If you take down a section of your neighbors chain link fence when they're not home so you can fit in a longer run. And you then become quite proficient at putting it back up when you see headlights pull into their driveway.

[Tim McMichael]

If you tell your grandpa that you are trying not to shoot out over the bar and get a twenty minute story about a misunderstanding your great grandfather had with Wyatt Erp in a saloon in Dodge City.

If you take a jump without checking the box and kill five tadpoles and a lizard.

If you have been disqualified for jumping with a toothpick in your mouth.

If you have ever used the spots left by dried up chicken droppings for your mid mark.

[mjaubbs40]

If the fence surrounding the competition area is barbed wire.

If people are putting up track tents with broken off tree branches & poles.

If instead of medals, winners receive Wal-Mart gift cards.

If your coaches are wearing tight acid washed blue jeans & a cut off T-shirt or tight "beater" tank top & straw cowboy hat and are overheard saying, "He darn gone near made 'dat".

[powerplant42]

If the box that you use is rotting.

If your school uniform is a pair of coveralls.

If you're on the DL because you hurt yourself in a 'tractor incident'.

[Tim McMichael]

My Great Grandpa's Rules for Gunfighting

Never put your hand to a gun as a threat.
Come out smoking or not at all.
Shoot first and don't miss.
Fit your gun to you, not yourself to the gun.
If you need more than one shot a dangerous man will kill you.

I always thought these applied to the vault.

[Tim McMichael]

If your solution to getting rid of an old pit is to throw it on the burn pile in the west pasture.

If that is how you managed to burn up the entire west pasture.

If every neighbor for five miles around, all eight of them, came to help you put it out because your town's pumper truck caught fire and burned up on the side of the road three miles from town.

If you have broken your lawn mower by mowing too close to the ropes and stakes that keep your spike cover from sliding off the pit.

If you have ever tossed a beagle over a bar on a dare.

[Tim McMichael]

If you have been embarrassed at a camp because your plant demonstration crushed the right side of your cowboy hat.

If your summer workouts never quite even out your farmer tan.

If holding a front bun on the top of the truck cab with your hands got you pulled out the window going 50 miles per hour.

[mjaubbs40]

You get pulled over when carrying poles longer than your car for "exceeding safe maximum overhang for your vehicle."

You're not willing to throw away old broken standards and keep them in a junk pile "just in case."

You bring the whole family out before dark to look at the new set of standards as if you've just put up Xmas lights. You invite the neighbors over after your family gets tired of looking.

If you put Xmas lights on your standards.

[mjaubbs40]

When you make friends with the contractors who are putting in a track/turf field at the local HS and get scraps of rollout rubber runway to cover your garage floor.
When your young children know more about the pole vault than some of the local coaches who get assigned to "coach" the vaulters.
When trying to pole vault across a 20' creek looks like a better option than trying to build a bridge to get to the other side.
When you turn your runway lights on at midnight to make sure that no fireworks landed on the runway or pit on the 4th of July.
If you only practice short runs at practice because the end of the runway is too close to the woods and there have been recent bear sightings. (or cougar, mountain lion and coyote sightings)

[Barto]

If you are at the olympic trials and someone yells at you, "Remember that time we killed the cat?"

[AVC Coach]

When it takes you 1 hour to mow your yard and 3 hours to weed eat!

[Tim McMichael]

When it takes you 1 hour to mow your yard and 3 hours to weed eat!

LOL I never can get the weeds around my standards down. I have stopped even trying. They just provide more cushion anyway.